TRAPT ROCKED!!!! SO DID BLINDSIDE!!!!
Oh sorry about the yelling. My ears are still recovering. I know that there are probably plenty of people out there that would linch me for what I am about to say, but I don't care. Blindside rocked so much harder. This has been a good day. An awesome concert and I got offered a promotion at work. Sure I'm still working fast food, but I am getting more hours and higher pay. It will at least get me through this next semester and maybe even pay off my car. Can I get a hell yeah?!
I want to get college over with, but I don't want debt coming out of my ass. I wish I had actualy worked in high school instead of blow it off. I slacked off and slept through most of my classes and still graduated with honors. Imagine what could happen if I actualy studied. The posibilities are endless. That is why it is so hard to decide what I want to major in. I can do just about anything except teach English. I would shoot my self if I did that. Any ways, I have a practical side that says go for math or science; you're good at that. It'll be easy. The other side, I don't know how to lable it, says to follow my heart and do something artistic. Acting, writing, sculpting, designing, etc. That would me more of a challenge but it will always be different. And I can do it if I want to. It just takes more time, and thought. I like a challenge, but I also like to take it easy. So what we got is Art in one hand and Logic in the other. Help please.
Well, we have MC Chris, Snmnmnm and the Ergs on the 19th, KTXT film festival on the third(Scope it out and see what talent I may be competing with. Maybe I'll have something by next year.), and PM5K on December 8th. Fun Fun Fun. Other than that I have a retreat this week end, Thanksgiving in San Antone with my Gampa, and lots of awesome friends that I am meeting through my good buddy Darren. LCU rocks. Just too expensive and no KTXT. Sorry guys.(That is a general guys, including girls.)
Oh! And if I am who I think I am. Time to clear things up. You know who you are, if indeed I am who I think I am. Sorry I can't tell you to your face, but I am not good with blunt words. I feel so rude saying them. Any ways, you are a really awesome person. I'm not just saying that. You could be my best friend merely because you think like me and you would understand. We could also come up with some wicked awesome plans of mahem. Nothing illegal, just something to give people something to talk about. Any ways, I get off topic easily, we should hang out. I'll call you later. K?
Well every body, my body is telling me to sleep. My mind is still jabbering away. I've been so good untill tonight. No caffiene for a couple weeks and I chuged a Bookoo before the concert. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is like three Red Bulls in one. Oh it got me pumped for the concert, but now my mind is wired. I guess all I can do now is try to sleep. It'll happen eventualy. Bye peoples. Lubbock you rock, when you actually do something. If only there was a concert every night. Hell yes. Oh yeah I was leving, Bye.
2005-11-09 03:24:40 2005-11-09 08:24:40 open Publish post 383788007I'm happy you enjoyed the concert! I hope your ears get better!
`Tracy
1 2005-11-09 07:05:00 2005-11-09 12:05:00 Anonymous bounce@xanga.com 0 -1 0 784954944 Well, you're not wired now. I should GET you wired. Haha. Most would say, "I should get you drunk," but I say fuck that, CAFFEINE ALL THE WAY! 1 2008-05-16 12:42:00 2008-05-16 16:42:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427633611 theEverTalkingBrain Mon, 07 Nov 2005 23:35:22 -05:00Wow. I am updating three times in the same day, and they are getting gayer and gayer. That is not a word, but I used it any way. I think I am going to see when the Winter term ends and see what classes they are offering. I need something to occupy my time. Well time to check and then sleep. It's early, but I want to. Laters.
PS. I love that Ska.
2005-11-07 23:35:22 2005-11-08 04:35:22 open Publish post 383056384"sprechen" is German for "speak" or "to speak". It's a long story.
Thanks for subscribing! Oh! Did you talk to Darren? You never called.
`Tracy
1 2005-11-08 00:04:00 2005-11-08 05:04:00 Anonymous bounce@xanga.com 0 -1 0 782729809 theEverTalkingBrain Mon, 07 Nov 2005 18:30:27 -05:00Okay everybody.(All three of you that might even read this) Get ready for the greatest shocker of all time. Are you sitting down? No? Well sit down.
Good. Now here it goes. I'M NOT SUPER MAN. Now I know I'm fucking awesome but not super man. Okay. Let me explain. At work, we are one short. That one called in and talked to a manager that was visiting the store. This manager did not feel the need to pass the message on to the manager that was working or the staff that was counting on that extra worker. Ok. We have worked with one short before. No problem. Now it is lunch time. Hey I got an idea let's send someone to the other store. Ok. Two short. No problem. We can do it. But wait. Half of the mother fuckers in there are fucking morons. On top of that, the management doesn't have a fucking idea what is going on in the store. Now I am doing two jobs, telling someone else how to do their job and cleaning up a mess all while helping customers. Oh and did I forget to mention that no one else is even trying to pick up the slack of the losers around them. And a manager is standing there with his thumb up his lazy ass. Now that I think of it, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Just annoying.
Enough of that. Now I can't think of anything else to say. Maybe later. I had something earlier. Laters.
2005-11-07 18:30:27 2005-11-07 23:30:27 open Publish post 382814601 AND SUPERMAN DAT HOE!!! 1 2008-05-16 12:44:00 2008-05-16 16:44:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427633848 theEverTalkingBrain Mon, 07 Nov 2005 02:45:36 -05:00Trapt Tuesday night, pay day Wednesday, retreat Saturday. Doesn't it suck that my life is so full of folly right now. Oh well, classes start again in January. I am going to take a science class. Wether it be Biology or Chemistry. I also need to take Calculus, or Trig. Then I can take Physics. Fun. I just wish I didn't blow off my senior year in high school. Where classes are FREE! I suck. Oh well. I guess I can do one of two things at this time. Complain or do something about it. I got an A in OT. That makes me happy. I thought I had a B. That got me thinking. If I can get an A slacking of in a class,(granted it wasn't a difficult class, but still) What would happen if I actually applied my self. I could be a rocket scientist, a brain surgeon, a nuclear physicist, or even a thespian. The possibilities are endless. As long as I don't have to spell properly. Wow. I am better than I thought.
Ooh!! New thought. I need a new job. One that pays worth a crap, requires ALL employees to have a brain(not just me), and doesn't require a tie to be worn. All a tie is is a pretty noose that is an attempt to say "I'm better than you". We're all the same. Lowley grimey sinners that would have no chance were it not for Jesus Christ. Ooh ooh ooh. I have ranted about maybe two other things so far. I looked back over it and realized I look like a lunatic. They were erased but this will stay.
Christ is greek for "Anointed One", Messiah is Hebrew for "Anointed One" Achor means "trouble", Abram means "Exalted Father", Abraham means "Father of Many". Okay. These are a few that most Christian know. There are many other names in the bible that mean something. (I know. No shit sherlock) My problem is that those names in the time period and culture weren't names so much as lables. The name actualy have a litteral translation. If you think of it, in the language of the time and place, if someones name meant "Blessed One", when people called them by name, it would be the equivalent of us saying "Hey blessed one, come over here." For some reason when the bible was translated, they only transliterated the names of people and places. That makes it hard to understand and interpret a writing that was written centuries ago. It's hard enough as it is. Why not make it more true to story by reading how they would have read it in the original language. When Jesus called Peter Peter, he actualy called him Petros, Greek for rock. With out the understanding of that, one would think that names were just made up for these people. It's getting late. I'm getting tired. My point being, it is hard enough to interpret the bible considering it was written 1900 or more years ago, in a different culture, in a different time, in a different language. Why is it so hard to translate it as it should be instead of leaving baptizto rather than translate it to it's litteral meaning of emerse. It makes me wonder what else was and still is altered for the means of propeganda.
Closing though: Everything can mean anything in the right or wrong hands. There is no definite truth in this ever changing world of man other than that of God, his son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit that is still with us. No matter what any man says or publishes pertaining to the Holy Trinity, God will always be the same, what ever he is. The proof of this lies in my life and the lives of those around me. The Bible says God is love. I will accept that. Wether God is some being out there beyond the comprehension of our febel minds, or people in our lonliness decided to worship Love as others worship money or water, I beilieve the God of Love is the only one worth worshiping. Love in it's purest form represents all that is good and pure. God.
2005-11-07 02:45:36 2005-11-07 07:45:36 open Publish post 382436128 theEverTalkingBrain Sat, 05 Nov 2005 15:25:26 -04:00Who are you?
If you read this please answer. I don't expect your life story or personal information. I'm just curious as to what different people use to identify themselves. I will give my answer later and explain. Thank you.
2005-11-03 02:10:06 2005-11-03 07:10:06 open Private post 379849697 theEverTalkingBrain Thu, 03 Nov 2005 02:04:21 -04:00Valuable life lessons learned today.
1. Don't startle a naked man. (don't ask)
2. Don't go running in steeled toed biker boots.
3. Always know where your hat is.
4. Velvet blazers are freakin' awesome.
5. I'm gorgeous.
6. If you take all the vegetables you don't like, reduce them to extracts, and put them in a power form, they will still taste like crap. No matter how good they tell you it tastes.
7. If you are doing something that doesn't make you happy, do something different.
8. I should be studying right now.
9. The harder to get, the better to have.
10. The destination is not as important as the way.
Okay. So I got this stuff today. It is called Vital Greens. It has extracts from every imaginable vegetable and even some unimaginable ones too. See my web site to the left for more info. It is supposed to make you really healthy but the problem is ingesting it for more than five seconds.
I really don't know what church said tonight that was different from two weeks ago. It sounded the same to me. I did however learn that Abbie has tonsillitis. (Poor Abbie.
Sooooooooo. I'm this gorgeous hunk of chivalry. Now, if I am as amazing as I say I am, why am I single? You tell me. I don't get this ego of mine from my imagination. I get it from all the people I have known throughout my life.
My problem is that I have not found anybody that is worth it yet. People tell me I am too picky and need to settle. I refuse to give up on the hope that some wonderful woman out there knows what the fuck is going on in this world. Someone with a brain. That actualy uses it. Too many girls dumb themselves down for guys. That fucking repulses me. There are also too damn many girls that will change their entire life for a guy.
A girl marries a guy hoping for him to change, and he doesn't. A guy marries a girl expecting her to stay the same, and she doesn't.
I don't know where I am going with this, and thinking about how stupid some people are(guys and girls), just pisses me off.
2005-11-03 02:04:21 2005-11-03 07:04:21 open Publish post 379848591 "If you are doing something that doesn't make you happy, do something different." - Jonathan UpchurchYeah I'm tired. But . . . I have a point, I swear. 1 2008-05-16 12:25:00 2008-05-16 16:25:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427630156 OH AND I WANNA KNOW ABOUT THE NAKED MAN 1 2008-05-16 12:25:00 2008-05-16 16:25:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427630225 theEverTalkingBrain Sat, 29 Oct 2005 20:34:42 -04:00
Why is the thunder soothing?
Why is the night so enticing?
Why does sleep make me feel so good?
Why do I see her in my dreams?
Why can I not have her?
Why doesn't she talk to me?
How can I get her attention?
Why can I not get over her?
How does someone I never met inspire such feelings?
Why do I feel nothing for those that I do know?
Why do I not want those who want me?
Why is it the one I can't have that I want?
What is it about that forbidden fruit that will make me go out of my way to be ignored?
How does somebody, that didn't talk to you over five years ago in school, remember your name?
How do so many people know me?
How do I know so many people?
Why do all those people mean nothing to me?
Why does all that love leave me empty?
Why do I want her love?
Why do I want her?
Why do I want you?
2005-10-29 20:34:42 2005-10-30 00:34:42 open Publish post 377058132 theEverTalkingBrain Thu, 27 Oct 2005 00:12:10 -04:00I don't know.
I think I do now.
Man I'm gorgeous.
I love saying that.
I'm bored.
I need to do something.
I need to get away.
I need to meet a perfect stranger and hit the road.
The possibilities are endless.
Of course in a car, your directions are limited by roads.
On foot, you can go anywhere with some patience.
I went to the park.
That was something new for me.
I was the only one there.
That was nice.
The only problem was that my mind would not shut up.
I wish I had a camera.
The clouds looked interesting.
I ran.
It was wonderful.
I wish I could fly.
I would be so free.
I wish I could run longer.
I will practice.
It is fun.
I want to meet new people.
The ones I know get boring fast.
There is one person that may be able to hold my attention.
That person does not know me.
That person will probably never know me.
Maybe one day I will come across that person.
Until then I will continue my search.
My search will be for the woman worth loving.
I have so much love to give.
We all do.
Some just keep it for them selves.
Some think they are giving it to every one.
Sex is not love.
Some people have no aspiration in life.
I have asked some people what the meaning of life is.
One said, "To get laid as many times as possible."
Another said, "There is none."
These people have no vision for life.
The meaning of life is love.
To live is to love.
To love is to live.
God is love.
Jesus is God incarnate.
Jesus is love incarnate.
Jesus lives in you.
Love lives in you.
If you do not love, you do not live.
Many die having never lived.
Love.
Live.
If you have read this, I thank you.
2005-10-27 00:15:44 2005-10-27 04:15:44 open Publish post 375326499 You wrote this and I thank YOU. 1 2008-05-16 12:28:00 2008-05-16 16:28:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427630712 theEverTalkingBrain Tue, 25 Oct 2005 11:13:56 -04:00I was out in my back yard,
Looking, for something to do.
I turned around and I saw a wood pile, right, next, to my canoe.
It was bright, and gold, and nice; the sun beamed off...
And as long as I was home for dinner, I decided to take my canoe, down to, the river.
I love my canoe (I love my-y)
I love my canoe (Cano-o-oe)
I love my canoe (I love my-y)
I love my canoe.
Well the, water was calm and I looked for ducks and geese,
The day was warm pushed along by a summer breeze.
There were people fishing and having fun,
People fed the ducks, kids played in the sun.
Well they looked at me like I was a dork,
But I paddled along anyway.
I saw the cool kids out in their speed boats,
But I stayed away from them if I wanted to stay aflo-o-oat.
I love my canoe (I love my-y)
I love my canoe (Cano-o-oe)
I love my canoe (I love my-y)
I love my canoe.
Then I saw her;
She passed me up on her water skis.
And those waves that she made were so-o-o big,
I thought that they would capsize me.
She did a jump and then she swirled in the ai-i-ir,
The bo-o-oat pulled her fast, the wind blew her hair.
She was one of those cool girls that had a lot of shoes,
And she would never go for me, sittin' in this conoe.
So I paddled on and I, felt like a geek,
Those guys she liked had muscles and I was farily weak.
That's okay though, I love my canoe,
Even though, I, cannot love yo-o-ou.
I love my canoe (I love my-y)
I love my canoe (Cano-o-oe)
I love my canoe (I love my-y)
I love my canoe.
(Canoe, canoe, canoe) I love you,
(Canoe, canoe) I love you,
(Canoe, canoe) I love you.
I see the clouds. I hear the thunder. Where is the rain.
"i wish it would rain…..until it washes over me…..
i wish it would rain…..let the water set me free….
i wish it would rain…..until it's there is to see….oh, rain……
i'm walking through a silent war, i must be 'cause i've never felt any peace before…..
tell me, when was misery born (?) it has no face….it has no soul….but now it has a home…
i wish it would rain…..until it washes over me…..
i wish it would rain…..let the water set me free….
i wish it would rain…..until it's there is to see….oh, rain……
i have tired to live a life that would stand up to my mother's hope and my father's doubts…..
now it pours into the river, and spills into the ocean……of rain…..
i wish it would rain…..until it washes over me…..
i wish it would rain…..let the water set me free….
i wish it would rain…..until it's there is to see….oh, rain……
why…won't it……………..rain…………."
I just got some great fucking word in my head but by the time I got something to write them down with, they were gone. I guess my thoughts are meant just for me and no one else is to know of them. That sucks.
Am I the only one that thinks most people in this world are boring?
"Some people just, want to survive.
And I don't know about you, but I am alive."
I like incense. The smell. I love to watch the stick burn, the ash fall, and the smoke swirl.
It happens different every time. Always a new swirl, and if something gets in the way or the air moves, it just goes along.
Any ways, I am alive. Now all I want to do is live.
2005-10-23 18:08:48 2005-10-23 22:08:48 open Publish post 373208495 theEverTalkingBrain Sat, 22 Oct 2005 02:50:00 -04:00Oh my Gosh. I can't believe I just did eight of those stupid quizzes. And that doesn't even count those I didn't post. Oh marvel in the power of boredom.
Enjoy.
2005-10-22 02:50:00 2005-10-22 06:50:00 open Publish post 372185156 theEverTalkingBrain Sat, 22 Oct 2005 02:20:36 -04:00 Yay me.| You're a Freaky Kisser |
 A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing... And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go |
I have a prrrrrrroooooooblllllllllllllllllleeeeeeemmmmmm. There I said it.
| How You Life Your Life |
 You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable. |
And the crap goes on.
| You Are 50% Weird |
 But too damn weird to do anything about it! |
OK!!! Just for the record, I think these things are stupid but I am amazed at how accurately they express my thoughts. Wow.
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
Annoying? Maybe. But I'm bored.
| Your Personality Profile |
 Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong. |
Do you think I am going over board with these?
| What Your Sleeping Position Says |
| You have a passion for everything - including sleeping. Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well. You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers. You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations. |
| Your Birthdate: July 5 |
 You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility |
| Your Career Type: Artistic |
 Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary. |
This is kind of crazy. I have considered most of the suggestion.
I have been a bank teller and hated it. Fun fun.
2005-10-22 01:21:55 2005-10-22 05:21:55 open Publish post 372156543 :P All of these quizzes you took are oddly . . . accurate. 1 2008-05-16 12:22:00 2008-05-16 16:22:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427629441 theEverTalkingBrain Sat, 22 Oct 2005 00:25:14 -04:00 What happened to the "h" in sugar? 2005-10-22 00:25:14 2005-10-22 04:25:14 open Publish post 372128275 theEverTalkingBrain Fri, 21 Oct 2005 17:28:52 -04:00I got to get out of this place. I'm so sick of it here. Life here is so mundane. I stick around because I "need" do get a degree, or at least I think that is why.
It may be because I don't want to go by myself and there I haven't met someone worth going with that doesn't want to settle in life. Settle in a job to live to work. Is there no more to this world than that any more? I would like to get out there, meet new people every day, see the world and enjoy life to the fullest. The most exciting moment of my life so far was at a hike up a mountain. You see all these things that are tucked away by nature that almost all people will never see. We even ran into some people on the top of the mountain. I want to find more places, more challenging adventures, meet more random people and most of all I want to share it with someone.
Now I understand that is rather silly of me to even think that person may be in the small town of Lubbock. So back to the question of why am I still here? Why don't I just go and meet new people on my own so that I may eventually find the most awesome person in the world?
MONEY! I hate money. All it does is take the meaning out of everything. I don't hate it because I can't get it. That isn't the problem. I just don't want it. I want life.
Here is where I belong about 30-40 years in the past. It used to be, you could travel and find work almost anywhere. You could jump a train to the next town, walk up to someone and say, "I'm going to be here for the next week or so. Do you have any work for me?" Now nobody will hire you for a week. There are no more jobs, just career opportunities.
I guess I should put my sense of adventure on hold while I spent the next 3 1/2 years of my life working on a degree so I can say that I did something with my life.
Apparently ACTUALLY living life isn't an accomplishment. You don't get a piece of paper for doing that. But you do when you don't. Hey, Guess what. Dying is an accomplishment.
I'm getting tired of going on and on. I think you get my point. If you don't, I probably don't like you.
2005-10-21 17:31:19 2005-10-21 21:31:19 open Publish post 371902977 And you like me because I get your point. :) I got bored and decided to read your entries again. my messenger isn't working. saddens me. I'm sorry about hurting your car again. It makes me feel bad so I'm not driving it anymore. Anyway, back to my comment. " want to find more places, more challenging adventures, meet more random people and most of all I want to share it with someone.Now I understand that is rather silly of me to even think that person may be in the small town of Lubbock."
Oh, the twists and turns of life. I'm in Lubbock. Strange strange strange. You inspire me like no other.
1 2006-03-04 02:24:00 2006-03-04 07:24:00 Anonymous bounce@xanga.com 0 -1 0 987232874 Whoever left that last comment is retarded. 1 2008-05-16 12:10:00 2008-05-16 16:10:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427626797 theEverTalkingBrain Tue, 18 Oct 2005 21:31:10 -04:00AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just typed up a long and awesome entry and at some point my wireless connection cut off and in doing so I was logged out of xanga so when I tried to post it I had to log in and it erased my life's work(maybe a slight exaggeration).
The problem is I type as shit comes to me and it is gone as soon as I say it. SOOO, it's all gone. I wish you could have seen it; it was amazing.
Well a fun song is playing on my station. It makes me happy though I wish it were true for me.
Oh well, Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.
2005-10-18 21:31:10 2005-10-19 01:31:10 open Publish post 370165614 thanks for subsribing to me... but who are you? 1 2005-10-20 17:29:00 2005-10-20 21:29:00 Anonymous bounce@xanga.com 0 -1 0 749125061Jack and Diane are my children.
I do look demonic, regardless of what you think! ...
and you, sir, do not.
1 2005-10-20 18:49:00 2005-10-20 22:49:00 Anonymous bounce@xanga.com 0 -1 0 749311543Saw your xanga, just wanted to say hey! lol. and yea that totally sucks about your loss of an awesome post. I hate it when the internet connection is dumb like that. see ya! -anna
1 2005-10-21 00:46:00 2005-10-21 04:46:00 Anonymous bounce@xanga.com 0 -1 0 750079742 WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!~ 1 2008-05-16 12:11:00 2008-05-16 16:11:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427627232 theEverTalkingBrain Tue, 18 Oct 2005 01:49:50 -04:00Ladies and Gentelmen, I need a fucking blow pop.
I'm so tired of this place. And I wanna go, Riding my carousel.
The plan was to go to sleep early so I could get a good nights sleep, but I couldn't sleep. So I get up to try later instead of just lying awake.
I was going to rant and rave about what I am not entirely sure what about but I will let other pople do it for me. And I quote...
Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do.
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss. (I don't want to miss a thing.)
Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
People find it hard to be both comic and serious, though life manages it easily enough.
Life is easier than you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable.
It's just life. Just live it.
I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of certainty about different things, but I'm not absolutely sure of anything, and many things I don't know anything about, such as whether it means anything to ask why we're here, and what the question might mean. I might think about it a little bit, but if I can't figure it out, then I go on to something else. But I don't have to know an answer.... I don't feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in the mysterious universe without having any purpose, which is the way it really is, as far as I can tell, possibly. It doesn't frighten me.
Perhaps we are looking at this from a wrong perspective; this search for the truth, the meaning of life, the reason of God. We all have this mindset that the answers are so complex and so vast that it is almost impossible to comprehend. I think, on the contrary, that the answers are so simple; so simple that it is staring us straight in the face, screaming its lungs out, and yet we fail to notice it. We're looking through a telescope, searching the stars for the answer, when the answer is actually a speck of dirt on the telescope lens.
Life is a shit sandwich. But if you've got enough bread, you don't taste the shit
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Unbeing dead isn't being alive.
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
So true. It makes no sense to hold on to life because it will just end, and I would rather be in heaven than here. But my natural instinkt is to survive.
Now love. You put all your trust in someone and they will eventual, in one way or another, let you down. We're human, we can't help it.
Wow, I'm all Christmas colors. Maybe I should change it for Halloween. ...Thinking...Ok. Now I have defeated the whole point of writing this. But I will leave it any ways.
Now I choose to look at an analize love to the point of pointlessness. Wish me luck.
Now why do we love? We don't want to be alone. Companionship. Now you can find companionship in so many people. Friends. Now we love friends but that is not what I am talking about at this time. I am talking about Love. Like a man has for a woman.
Ok. nowy my drugs have kicked ing and it is tiem to sleep. I did not use the backspace key in that last sentence to prove it. I shall continue at a later time. I may get some sleep yet.
2005-10-18 01:49:50 2005-10-18 05:49:50 open Publish post 369666431 OMG READ THIS!!!!!! . . . .. . . . . .. I need to give yew sum drugz so thats yous canz write like theese againe. Or so that you remember that I did buy some bread last week so fuck the shit in your sandwhich and eat it dammmit! 1 2008-05-16 12:16:00 2008-05-16 16:16:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427628264 theEverTalkingBrain Mon, 17 Oct 2005 00:44:26 -04:00Well I went to church. I woke up early and had too much time that I got bored and thus creative with my hair. I wasn't too special. I tried to do a mohawk but it fell to the left so I just put the whole thing over there. My dad said it looked like Jimmy Neutron. So I went to a different church to avoid embarassing him. You know how old people are. Any ways, people there thought it was eneresting. I haven't seen these people in a while but I didn't feel like being very sociable. I probably seemed rude now that I think of it. Sorry peoples.
So the message was...you ready?...get a load of this...you ready...
...I will not die for the sins of my father.
WOW!!!
What a relevation, I'm not a Catholic.
So that didn't help with my delima mentioned earlier today.
To night at small group I just got an urgent reminder of why it is important to give up my stuborn ways and conform to Gods will. Now not only do I feel like crap and not want to "take my medicine" but I now get to worry that the end may come and in my current "sleeping" state, I am royaly fucked. Isn't that fun? Well I have work in the morning and I am still playing catch up for the past 3 years of sleep.(who isn't) Wish me luck.
2005-10-17 00:44:26 2005-10-17 04:44:26 open Publish post 368972500 thank you for the encouragement. 1 2005-10-17 17:26:00 2005-10-17 21:26:00 strngwhnwk bounce@xanga.com http://strngwhnwk.xanga.com/ 0 17459832 0 743431045 Hahaha. Jimmy Neutron hair . . . he would say that. God . . . I'm sooooo fuckin' bored JON! 1 2008-05-16 12:19:00 2008-05-16 16:19:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427628848 theEverTalkingBrain Sun, 16 Oct 2005 04:28:22 -04:00What is it in the world that I am looking for. I feel that I am always searching for something that does not exist. I don't know what it is but I want it. My mind tells me that what I want is God but there is something in my heart that doesn't want to let go of this world. God doesn't work too well in you mind. He requires a place in your heart that I am keeping vaccant for that something else I want to find.
Well I go to church in about six hours. I have a hope that something there will happen that will make a change but I think I am too stuborn. I want that something to be what i want it to be and untill I know what it is, I will never find it. Oh well. I guess I'm fucked. Isn't that fun kids? Oh well, time to go and battle myself over me.
2005-10-16 04:28:22 2005-10-16 08:28:22 open Publish post 368338587 Hey, I noticed you subscribed to me. Thanks! Anyways, yea, I do the same thing every sunday. and wednesday. it gets kinda old after a while, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Anywho, I'll see ya around!-Courtney 1 2005-10-16 15:12:00 2005-10-16 19:12:00 ShamelessAddiction bounce@xanga.com http://shamelessaddiction.xanga.com/ 0 19464729 0 741387387 No . . . haven't changed. Just opened up. 1 2008-05-16 12:20:00 2008-05-16 16:20:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427629084 theEverTalkingBrain Sat, 15 Oct 2005 16:45:39 -04:00
Java! Java! Java! Java! Java! Java! Java! Java! Java! Java! Java! Java! Java! Java!
I love COFFEE!!!
I just had to get up for an "employee meeting" at 8 in the morning. And on top of that I had to stay and open the store. GERR!! The good thing is that I had time to get some yum yums before work.
I went to get COFFEE!!!
I got there and wanted something stronger than my ordinary late or Chai. I discovered MACHIATO!!!! Now Starbucks has their crapo vesion that has milk in it but this is the real stuff. A double shot of espresso with froth on top. Coffee undistorted by milk or syrups. This is the first time I have had something that strong and I LOVE it. I think my chest hairs just grew about an inch. OH YEAH!!!!
But that's not all. I was curious so I got something else. I don't know what it is call but it was down right delicious. I had a double shot of espresso with some half-and-half and brown sugar. So smooth, so rich, so Java! Java! Java! Java!
I now understand why cartoon bounce up and down from the floor to the celing and back again.
Now four hours, 16oz. of sprite, two hot wings, and a handfull of okra, and a good scrubbing with Colgate total and the taste of COFFEE!!! still remains, and so does the buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I just leaned back and almost squished my cat, and in a sad attempt to get away he ran into the wall. SMACK!!!! HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHah!!!!
Oh I haven't laughted that hard since I was a little girl.
Well now I am bored and have a lot of energy to vent so untill next time...
...SAVE THE SNAILS!!! It isn't their fault that they don't know the difference between the drive way and the garden. They are simple creatures that are an amazing example of what is happening to those of us that eat too much salt.
2005-10-15 16:45:39 2005-10-15 20:45:39 open Publish post 368014937 Since you are asleep when you shouldn't be, I will flood you with comments and critiques on each of your entries. I like to smash snails, btw! SMASH IT WITH A HAMMMER!!!!!!! MUAHAHA! 1 2008-05-16 11:58:00 2008-05-16 15:58:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427623919 theEverTalkingBrain Wed, 12 Oct 2005 23:31:57 -04:00I update too much but why not? It's my site and my brain keeps talking to me so I obey and write what it says. If you don't like it tooooooo bad. Besides it's not like anybody reads this any way. If you do please just comment. All I want is a yes. I know it is new but I am so amazing that all should flock to my site. (What do you mean conceded?)
Any way, I was playing around last night with a camera and photo editing software and isn't it amazing. That is a photo of me put in "firelight", or some special feature like that, then the "crayon" feature was used. I think it is amazing. Also, I have a video on my site. YEAH!!!! Good I am glad someone is excited. I know it is kind of a girly song but Jenny Lewis is so adorable in it.
Now down to business. First of all, what is the big deal about eye liner. Johnny Depp wears it and he's hot. I wear it and I am gay. WT...Freak???(trying to be good) You know what I think it is? I look so good that all the guys want me to be gay. It's just wishful thinking on their behalf. The ladies love me and I love the ladies, the whole ladies, and nothing but the ladies. So help me God.
OH God. Great guy that God. I love his book. Thou shalt not, love your neighbor, "So and So" begot "So and So", and all that jazz. So, my Man God makes everything that we are able to comprehend by speaking word of a kind so much greater than and thing that the human brain can comprehend. Then he makes man from dust(All we are is dust in the wind. Not so far from the truth. Especialy in Lubbock Texas.) and then the ever so wonderful pain in his ribbless side, Woman(don't get me wrong, I love women like I said earlier, but nobody's perfect.). "for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife" says the good book. Contrary to what my x's might say, I want to do that. I just haven't found the one that is worth "puting up" with. And LOVE every second of it, I might add. Just in cace you might be reading this. Any way, the point I was getting to was, I know I'm great. Everyone,except the guy that secretly desire me, tells me that. I do fine once I am talking to someone, but I don't know how to get to that part. I can see a beautiful girl look at me from across the room; I dig her,and from her smile, my warped mind thinks she digs me. But I will never know. As soon as I am done doing what I am doing, I am gone. I'm not shy. I will stand on a table in a public place holding a cappuccino singing an Irish drinking song at the top of my lungs, but when it comes to aproaching a girl,.....................................................and that's it. {Maybe stating on the internet wher any one who wants to see it can, if there are such people out there, will either get me the help I need or magical make my, lets see, I wouldn't call it fear because the worst that could happen is they could say no(and that has happened pleanty), nor would I call it......You know what, I think I know what it is.} WOW! What a runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnon. Back on subject. OOps, lost it. MAN! I was so close. Oh well. I think I have typed too much. Pleas let me know if you read all of this. Just curious. Well, the rambling fool will return. Untill then, heres a quote:
"Cause laughin lovers, can overcome their closest demons" Thousand Mile Wish-Finger Eleven
"You need to get yourself a girl mate." Jack Sparrow-Pirates of the Caribbean (To me)
P.S. "Soy un perdedor, I'm a looser baby, so why don't you kill me." Loser-Beck
2005-10-12 23:31:57 2005-10-13 03:31:57 open Publish post 366353844Aww
Well I'm a big fan of Cinderella. At least it's a musical. The Crucible is a great show, but it's no musical.
1 2005-10-13 08:45:00 2005-10-13 12:45:00 Anonymous bounce@xanga.com 0 -1 0 735669945 PS - I love this video. 1 2005-10-13 13:32:00 2005-10-13 17:32:00 Anonymous bounce@xanga.com 0 -1 0 735963514 You definitely need girl-getting skills. Too late for that now. I must've been blind or . . . saw something else? Maybe I'm just nuts. I don't know. 1 2008-05-16 12:03:00 2008-05-16 16:03:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427625169 theEverTalkingBrain Tue, 11 Oct 2005 17:34:31 -04:00"I'm light and I'm heavy, I'm here when you're ready, Mentalities change, but I stay the same."
"What inspires you, should entire you. Live how you wanna be loved."
"And then I saw her, She passed me up on her water skis, and those waves that she made were so-o-o big I thought that they, would capsize me. She did a jump and then she swirled in the air, the bo-o-oat pulled her fast, the wind blew her hair. She was one of those cool girls who had a lot of shoes, and she would never go for me, sitting in this canoe. So I paddled on and I felt like a geek, those guys she liked had muscles, and I was farly weak. But that's OK cause I love my canoe even though, I, cannot love you-u-u. I love my canoe(I love my-y) I love my canoe(cano-o-oe)..."
Troubled Hubble ROCKS!!!
2005-10-11 17:34:31 2005-10-11 21:34:31 open Publish post 365421421 This song . . . I remember it. HA! You should sing it to me. Like now. 1 2008-05-16 12:04:00 2008-05-16 16:04:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427625485 theEverTalkingBrain Tue, 11 Oct 2005 03:10:41 -04:00Some awesome quotes.
Life... is like a box of chocolates - a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that no one ever asks for, unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So, you're stuck with mostly undefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there's nothing else to eat while you're watching the game. Sure, once is a while you get a peanut butter cup or an English toffee but it's gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. In the end, you are left with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, which, if you are desperate enough to eat, leaves nothing but an empty box of useless brown paper. ~The X-Files
2005-10-11 03:10:41 2005-10-11 07:10:41 open Publish post 365112738 theEverTalkingBrain Sat, 08 Oct 2005 21:58:44 -04:00My brain won't shut up, incase you can't already tell. It keeps talking to me and won't let me sleep. When I do get a few minutes of sleep, it transliterates gereek to english and speaks freaky ass sentences to me. ex. He/She/It gives apostels(accusitive) of the bread(genative) to the fruits(dative plural). AAAHHHH!!!
Well, now that I have that out of the way, life is good. Can I get a hell yes?! I feel like shit, I'm running on about two hours of sleep (I love sleep, it's a nice escape from the dullness of this world) , and I need to find someone that I can talk to.
Friend- Someone that you talk to for lies.
Enemy- Someone you ask if you wnat the truth.
Any questions?
Like I said, life is good, I'm still working on that thought,check back later if you want to know why. That is, if there is even anybody reading this. Hey, it could happen.
2005-10-08 21:58:44 2005-10-09 01:58:44 open Publish post 363542486 Wow . . . if you really think about it . . . not much has changed."Well, now that I have that out of the way, life is good. Can I get a hell yes?! I feel like shit, I'm running on about two hours of sleep (I love sleep, it's a nice escape from the dullness of this world) , and I need to find someone that I can talk to." 1 2008-05-16 12:06:00 2008-05-16 16:06:00 lifebeautylove bounce@xanga.com http://lifebeautylove.xanga.com/ 0 26011077 0 1427626042
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